February 15, 2016

Painful light

You know those months, or two, that seem to go on and on with no end in sight? Yeah, that's what we have been living the past few months. After Josh's last scare (see last post) we got him home and after a few days rest he got back on his feet and seemed to be coping okay. Then we got news from the Eye clinic that his eye surgery was scheduled for February 12th.  The last time he had eye surgery I swore that we would never put him through that again... recovery was tough. His eyes have always been his weak spot, when he's scared or anxious he rubs at his eyes, when the light is too bright his eyes water, he HATES anyone touching his eyes, even talking about his eyes around him causes his eyes to water. 

So you can imagine how he feels when someone cuts into them and works on them, that for him, is the worst feeling in the world. 

The week prior to the surgery he was very scared, and the night before he asked God to give him all of Gods strength and to help him be brave. It just about breaks you heart, because if I could I would do this for him and yet there is absolutely nothing I can do. I have to sit helpless.

The morning of the surgery he asked me to pray for him at least 4 times, and right before they put him to sleep he asked me again. As he drifted off to sleep there were prayers being lifted up around the world for him, I know that, because I know the community we have and I know that their prayers are ever faithful. 

Recovery went ok and we were sent home, but it's not been an easy few days. His pain is horrible to watch. He sits in my lap and says 'It's just too much mummy' and all I can do is hold the ice pack on his eye and snuggle him until it eases and the meds start to kick in. 

He's also been showing signs (or at least more serious signs - since his recent bouts of seizures) of having photophobia. He hates the lights on, and complains that the light is bothering him in even a dimly lit room. 

Last night he prayed 'Please God, make my eyes normal again'...

This is a bummer post... Im tired and this seems all consuming. Please pray for him, for his eyes to heal quickly, for the pain to ease, for the light sensitivity to diminish, for life to find a new normal. So far, this year has been a tough one but it doesn't have to continue this way; pray that God gives us a season of peace after this.

Thank you all for you patience; Ive had many emails about my lack of updates... my computer has been on life-support at the computer hospital, but it's all better now and will hopefully remain in working order. 

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